It was a great day if I summarise it myself but yeah awkward moments just have to come my way. My dance performance in the morning was freaking me out. of course, I had to be a klutz and forget the cape thing I had to wear at home and so there had to be chaos. we hadn't practised enough to be ready with the presentation either, I forgot part of it on stage and that means only me. but whatever, it was all worth it at the end of the day, I guess.
I sat with Caleb and had fun, Barbara was fun too, I got pictures clicked of myself with almost all my friends. Adam actually came to me to get a pic clicked with me which is so rare.
Alexander was missing, though. I wanted a picture with him too, and after all the fighting we'd done and everything, I was still freaking out about one thing more than anything else. This year, we all get separated and I won't ever get to see Alex or talk to him because with others I knew they'd talk and call me some time but Alex, I wasn't that sure. I wasn't sure that I'd have the guts to actually talk to him too. what would I even talk about? plus I'm sure he thinks I'm a boring freak who is so desperate but anyways, I wished he would come today to school, I mean I looked pretty in that dress. not my words. I wanted him to look at me. I wanted to grab his attention. but whatever, I ain't that lucky.
My T.O.M. couldn't wait any longer too so yeah I had a hell of a time running around just fifteen minutes before my dance came up, looking for tampons because of course, the only day I needed them so badly, I didn't have any.
Hamara, my supposedly best friend, who I really don't even like but she forces me into calling her that so whatever. wait, does that make her a bully? so she came back to school after what-not infections. I mean I'm quite sure she was studying for the exams and she might be a little sick too but yeah, I had to listen to her rant about her headaches and her stomach infections and what-not. I also have to listen to her gush over my ex-boyfriend and current crush, Alex because supposedly they are best friends.
Sometimes, I think I never knew Alex and sometimes I think I know him by heart. he sends conflicting signals. I mean one time he'll announce that Hamara and he are bestest friends and then he'll come up to Adam and tell him to tell me that I'm so much better off without talking to Hamara. I don't get it. he once even said he had a crush on her and then he says this...? I'm so confused I have no idea what to think about.
Ian and I started talking again which is sort of great but he's addicting and I need to focus on my exams so I'm gonna blow him off for a month so I don't get too addicted to the vulgar yet funny human.
Sampson became a loner and has no one to talk so I spent half of my break with him which was great and I hope he felt better.
Asante has been really friendly and its great to have a constant in my life. She's been my friend for as long as I entered school and I hope it stays that way till I die.
I hate Hamara like I used to. I really can't tolerate her anymore. She has been a pain in my ass and I don't know how I'll solve this. I really want to stay away from her so much. So damn much.
Tuitions are great. They are the best thing ever. The true definition of learning is fun. the people are cheerful and I don't need to actually be with them for more than two hours and it works great that way. Street food however with these people is amazing and the best thing ever. I'm going to cherish these moments forever.
So the best way out right now is that I pack these things off in a box and focus on my exams and then think about this crap later.
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